Well, as I hit ‘publish’ on this post I am so so nervous. I know I am honest in my posts and on my Instagram, but this for me is very open. But, I feel I am here to share my ups and downs, so here goes…
Before Freya I always loved the idea of being a mum. And I do. But, I’m also struggling. A day can be filled with a full range of emotions from feeling like super mum when you’ve got a wash on before 8am (it’s the little things isn’t it) through to feeling so totally overwhelmed by ‘life’ that I just want to “stop being an adult” as I like to say. And the things that might set off these down moments might be something as simple as Freya waking up from a nap too soon. Sometimes those quiet moments to recharge are just enough to keep going through the day. As I write this I feel just awful, but I feel I can’t be the only one feeling like this so I want to put it out there and let you know, you’re not the only one.
Whether it is from society/social media or just my own feelings, but either way, there is SO much pressure to be this perfect mum and wife. And sometimes that happens and your baby is a great eater and sleeper, and a happy little soul all day long, and then other days it is so far from that you wonder what you’re doing wrong. But its nothing we are doing wrong and routines haven’t changed, but they are growing and learning, and with that comes these challenges. I am so grateful that I am a mum, but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle.
And keeping up with friends a family – well! I feel like I am there in body but not mind. Either so tired and exhausted, or just retreating back into my own company, after all, there I don’t have to talk !
That being said, things I find are helping me through these times are:
- Music – music is so important to me and it always has been, always will. Music can lift your spirits and recreate memories. I play music all day long and it is always upbeat music associated to happy memories.
- Fresh air – getting out of the house (even if it feels like the last thing you want to do) can really lift spirits and its great for little ones too – win win.
- Treats – this might be something as small as a takeaway coffee but these little moments, for me, lift me.
- Keep grounding myself, reminding myself that she needs me now, and I am so happy that I am her safe place. Reminding ourselves of what we are grateful for can put things back into perspective and make things that little bit easier.
I am grateful for my little corner of the internet, even if nobody is reading this, it feels therapeutic for me to air my feelings. But if you are reading this, I hope it helps. That’s it from me now, onwards and upwards!